This reminds me of when I was 13 and would draw people without an anatomical reference EXCEPT THIS IS REAL. 

This reminds me of when I was 13 and would draw people without an anatomical reference EXCEPT THIS IS REAL. 

An analysis of the first official Mockingjay trailer:

- Katniss and President Snow are SKYPING? Definitely not in the book. If this is an example of off-book ‘liberties’ they’ve taken, COLOUR ME INTRIGUED. Also - I felt that Donald Sutherland had been playing Snow waaay too even keel in the first two movies, so I’m encouraged to see he’s bringing the Hannibal Lecter now… 

- Effie has definitely replaced the role of Venia. Called it a million years ago!

- District 13 has been more vibrantly realized that I could have imagined, seeing as it was, y’know, described to be a minimalist bunker. It’s so specifically stylized without being extravagant - hat’s off to the production design!

- Wouldn’t it have been best to not show the whole Peeta-cast part in the trailer for non-book readers? Oh well, spoiler alert: Peeta’s alive and calling for a cease-fire!

- Finnick’s going through some things.

- It looks like the District 8 scene is going to be the big action sequence,  and the night raid of 13 is also included. I’m still positive that the standoff in District 2 will be where the book narrative into the Mockingjay sequel is split, but we’ll see how that prediction pans out…  

- EXACTLY WHERE IS THIS DAM THAT’S BEING BLOWN UP??? There’s definitely one at the Capitol, but wouldn’t the first movie be too soon to include a Capitol strike? Maybe this is an instance of them ‘expanding the world’ and showing other districts (that have dams, apparently)… 

And last, and most importantly,

- Coulda used A LOT MORE (Julianne) MOORE!

Although the thesis isn’t entirely false, ISSUES with this article and a staggering number of ESSENTIAL all-female collaborations that the author left omitted. Here’s my personal Top 10 to prove that all-female collab’s are hardly seeing a golden age in 2014…

10. Gwen Stefani ft. Eve - Rich Girl (2005)

Eve making with the quid pro Gwen Stefani’s quo from “Let Me Blow Ya Mind”, yes it samples Fiddler On The Roof, but I can guarantee you that when this track came on during its heyday, nary a pussy went un-popped on the dance floor.

9. Beyonce & Shakira - Beautiful Liar (2007)

Believe it or not, there was a time that everything Beyonce did wasn’t met with universal deference. This was one of those moments. An unceremonious pairing at best, you could still do a lot worse.

8. Reba McEntire & Linda Davis - Does He Love You (1993)

To discount country queens on this list would be a fatal error. If you’ve ever been at the bottom angles of a love triangle, THEY are singing what your HEART was feeling. Not to mention, their hair and shoulder pads are the height and volume you wish yours were.

7. Rihanna & Britney Spears - S&M (2011)

Equally matched in every respect.

6. Janet Jackson ft. Missy Elliott & Carly Simon - Son Of A Gun (2001)

One of the greatest tragedies of the past decade has been Janet Jackson’s multi-tier fall from grace. This song is terrifyingly badass. This is the song that female assassins listen to after they do a job. And Carly Simon’s ‘rap’ contribution? I defy your seat to stay dry after hearing it.

5. Whitney Houston ft. Kelly Price & Faith Evans - Heartbreak Hotel (1999)

Whitney Houston is truly the queen of female collaborations (see honourable mentions below), with this being her most commercially successful. I remember loving it at the time because I read into it that this meant she was getting ready to kick Bobby B to the curb, but there are also as many soul-blazing vocals as there are floor-legnth coats.

4. Amber, Ultra Nate & Jocelyn Enriquez AKA Stars on 54 - If You Could Read My Mind (1998)

SEMINAL. It took EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to not make this Number 1, which is a testament to my objectivity and ability to think critically. This is the dance music equivalent of the founding of the United Nations, and continues to fill the floor with a joyous urgency.

3. Lady GaGa & Beyonce - “Telephone” (2009)

I have a theory that once a decade, like a comet or a rare breed of sea-turtle mating, there is a quintessential female collaboration. In the 90’s, it was Brandy & Monica’s “The Boy Is Mine”… my cases-in-point from the 80’s and 70’s are respectively next. I do believe that this song edges out the Aguilera/Pink/Li’l Kim/Mya “Lady Marmalade” quadrumvirate to be that quintessential female collaboration of the 2000’s. 

2.) Annie Lennox & Aretha Franklin - Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves (1985)

I know it’s technically billed as “The Eurythmics & Aretha Franklin” but fuck that so hard, Dave Stewart is taking a distant third billing here. This song is what Rosie The Riveter’s soul sounded like. Beyond the fact that it’s basically the female version of ‘Ebony & Ivory’, without it, The First Wives Club would have NEVER gotten their shit together and founded the Cynthia Swann Griffin Crisis Centre and saved COUNTLESS LIVES. 

1. Barbra Streisand & Donna Summer - No More Tears (Enough Is Enough) (1979)

Iconic. The paradigm by which every subsequent all-female collaboration follows, and the gold star whose orbit they reside in.

Honorable mentions: 

Kelly Clarkson & Tamyra Gray - You Thought Wrong
(ANTHEMIC. I blame the fact that it dropped in the early-Aughts, a considerably more Kid Rock-friendly climate, for it not taking off. Still, it was ample compensation for those of us that thought Tamyra was #ROBBED.)

Alicia Keys & Beyonce - Put It In A Love Song
(NUCLEAR SMASH. Why it was never released as a single, despite an ornately styled video being shot, we’ll never know.)

Whitney & Mariah - When You Believe
(DEVASTATION AND TRIUMP IN ONE FELL SWOOP.)

Whitney & Deborah Cox - Same Script, Different Cast
(A little contrived, but I’ll take whatever Whitney gives me. Also of note: there are 5 separate modulations in this song ALONE.)

Whitney & Cissy Houston - I Know Him So Well
(I can’t believe this cover of a song from the musical “Chess” with a gospel legend and her daughter who predeceased her wasn’t a hit.)

Li’l Kim ft. RuPaul - Bad Girls
(LIGHT YEARS AHEAD OF ITS TIME.)

Lady Gaga & Christina Aguilera - Do What U Want
(AKA the non-R Kelly Rape Version)

Cher, Chrissie Hynde & Nehneh Cherry - Love Can Build A Bridge
(Maudlin ballad that was likely a charity single that I’m amazed Chrissie Hynde signed on for)

Shakira & Rihanna - Can’t Remember To Forget You
(Meh, but I’m generally in favour of both of them individually.)

Jennifer Hudson & Fantasia - I’m His Only Woman
(If you do one thing this lifetime, listen to the dramatized phone call between them in the first 48 seconds and have a life well-lived.)

Celine & Barbra - Tell Him
(If cashmere turtlenecks could sing, this is what it would sound like.) 

Mariah Carey ft. Missy Elliott & DaBrat - Heartbreaker (DJ Clue Remix)
(A nourishing, indefatigable masterpiece.)

Brandy, Tamia, Gladys Knight & Chaka Khan - Missing You
(Remember when Brandy could headline things?)

Any and everything Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt & Emmylou Harris did together.

Last night, I was the equivalent of the “YAAAS GAGA” kid to Tina Fey, and who the fuck can blame me.

#NOW #PLAYING #PhyllisHyman #RideTheTiger

Inspired by @thelindywest's EXCELLENT ranking of every outfit Shelley Long wore in Troop Beverly Hills, I ranked every outfit everyone ELSE wears in the movie with the sprawling expanse of time I had over this long weekend… 

30.) Velda Plendor’s Skunk Hat

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You’re gonna pay for this, yes, you are

29.) Dr. Joyce Brothers’ Khaki Fashion Show Apron

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More like Dr. Joyce OH-BROTHERs.

28.) Velda Plendor’s Mormon Matron

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What is a collar that size supposed to communicate?

27.) Hannah Nefler’s Laura Ashley Realdoll

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This was literally the last day in recent history it was remotely acceptable for anyone to wear a hat that size as an earnest accessory.

26.) Annie Herman’s Civvies

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I’ll bet she has a wild side.

25.) Claire Sprantz’s Intended Outfit from the Wilderness Craft Fair Presentation

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Basic! Not to mention the presentation FLOPPED!

24.) Mrs. Dictator’s Obscenely Large Leg of Mutton Sleeves

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A convenient diversion to the ‘how many shoes’ question, sure…

23.) Frankie & Annette’s Casual Activewear

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They could and should have tried harder.

22.) Hungry Jazzerciser’s Graphic Leggings

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THIS is how you do activewear in 1989 Beverly Hills.

21.) Tessa DiBlasio’s Annie Hall-goes-to-the-Mall

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Annie Mall, more like…

20.) General Salute to Rosario's Casual Wear

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Ironically, these are the most timeless pieces in this movie.

19.) Henri doing Henri

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He should have had a minute of screen time for every outfit Phyllis Nefler wore.

18.) Ed ‘Kooky’ Byrnes’ Man-About-Town 

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I have NO DOUBT he made quite an impression at the unemployment offices.

17.) Freddy Neffler’s SUPER-RELAXED-FIT Empire-Waist slacks

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Craig T. Astley

16.) Bitsy Barnfell’s Ice Queen in Reagan-Era Navy 

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Sydney Biddle-Barrows REALNESS…

15.) Lily Marcigan’s Counter-Revolutionary Ray-Ban’s & Kimono

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You can torture me, but I’ll never talk!

14.) Chica Barnfell’s Equestrian Chic

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Dressaged to kill!

13.) Emily Honigman’s Acid-Wash Peplum Party Dress with Embellished Hearts and Scrunchie Parfait

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12.) Jasmine Shakar’s “It’s Cookie Time” Wig (BONUS: Annie Herman on the synth!)

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HOW IS IT that Jenny Lewis is the lone TBH Alum to go onto a recording career, yet this girl is lost in oblivion?

11.) Rosa’s Maraca Section Southwestern Smock

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10.) Vicki Sprantz’s Business-Jungle Casual

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Once upon a time, Stephanie Beacham was made, and the mold was broken.

9.) Lisa’s 10-Gallon Shoulder Pads

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Makes the earrings look like studs!

8.) DANCE-WEAR

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7.) Vicki Sprantz’s Live-&-In-Person Coat of Many Animal Hides

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I like to imagine that in whichever universe TBH was set in, Vicki Sprantz was a rival romance novelist to Mary Fisher from “She-Devil”. Timeline-wise, it would check out!

6.) Mrs. Shakar’s Nubian Empress 

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I also like to imagine that Mrs. Shakar and Aunt Viv would have been rivals in the bizzaro TBH-verse… 

5.) Pia Zadora’s Khaki Mini-Frock

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Sure it’s drab on a good day, but she’s got the best accessory known to man - being Pia Zadora

4.) Lisa’s Electric Blue Leatherette Boner Crusher

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Must have been a real hot listing

3.) Divorce Court Fall Fashions

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Bang = buck.

2.) Vicki Sprantz’s Second Skin 

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I choose to believe this was a catsuit.

1.) Annie Herman’s Emancipation Cocktail Tutu

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ANNIE HERMAN BOI-OI-OING IS FUCKING RIGHT. Did it occur to NO ONE that Mary Gross’s body is on point with Brooke fucking Shields in her prime? Iconic Iconic Iconic Iconic ICONIC.

I hope that this was 1/10th as entertaining as Lindy West’s original post was. Beverly Hills, what a thrill!

September is the January of fashion.

September is the January of fashion.

Has there been a more essential interracial couple than Ireland Baldwin and Angel Haze?

Has there been a more essential interracial couple than Ireland Baldwin and Angel Haze?

What is this gif of Heidi Brander from? Find out tonight! Doors at 7:30! Show at 8! Buddies!

What is this gif of Heidi Brander from? Find out tonight! Doors at 7:30! Show at 8! Buddies!

The best thing I’ve seen.